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Further Defence Cuts Won’t Be
November 27, 2017

Joined: May 12, 2014
Posts: 835
Further Defence Cuts Won’t Be

November 27, 2017

The Government's plans to further reduce the strength of the British Army by 12k, making it  the smallest standing army since the first U.K. wide force was first established, will not adversely impact on our ability to undertake global operations in the future, according to the new Defence Chief. Speaking from his Walmington On Sea headquarters, Captain George Arthur Mainwaring said he was entirely confident the new wooden pretend rifles, shortly to be on general issue, would more than compensate for the smaller numbers of boots on the ground. He said the rifles would be extremely difficult to recognise as dummy weapons except at very close quarters whereupon our troops could use their new rubber bayonets to defend themselves in close combat situations!  Captain Mainwaring explained that in fact a smaller army was no bad thing. He said soldiers were fast becoming dispensable as modern warfare evolved and plastic drones, mass produced by Toys R Us, became  the weapons of the future. He did however promise the new plans envisaged  the army's 12 remaining main battle tanks would receive an extra 30 gallons of diesel each along with an allocation of 4 HESH training rounds per vehicle. Each of the 6 armoured regiments remaining would have their complement of  2 battle tanks augmented by an extra refurbished Ferret Scout Car and a Long Wheel Base Landrover. Flanked by his two body guards, each armed with a baseball bat and a pikestaff, Mainwating reiterated the cuts were not in fact cuts. Natural wastage, achieved through sending troops into far flung countries, under equipped and in too few numbers, would ensure the new lower manpower targets could be reached without any redundancy costs. " just because we are changing the number of troops we have doesn't mean we are cutting numbers"' Mainwaring explained. "We also will soon  have the new high tech, super fast, aircraft carrier to support  our future global operations and, as the first carrier of its kind not to have any aircraft,  it will revolutionise our ability to transport the entire UK land forces and their vehicles in one fell swoop to every corner of the world". Mainwaring became Defence Chief after losing his bank several trillion £s in a series of disasterous hedge fund deals that went wrong.

November 28, 2017

Joined: May 5, 2014
Posts: 695
Further Defence Cuts Won’t Be

November 28, 2017

David, A very amusing "take" on the latest alleged Defence cuts, but unfortunately probably too near the truth to be truly funny. I suppose we could always employ those "obviously have no ship" sailors now used to perform Public Duties at the Palace - their crisp white gaiters might need some camouflage though ! What a sad sight they look ! It was historically always Labour who cut our Armed Forces - not any more, it would seem the 1st port of call for this Government  to save money is Defence spending, followed by "hit the motorist" in the pocket,  so God help us if Labour get into power, your comic "take" above might just come true even sooner. John (JKW)

November 28, 2017

Joined: May 12, 2014
Posts: 835
Further Defence Cuts Won’t Be

November 28, 2017

John, as you surmised, my post is based on the Government's alleged intention to further reduce the army by 12,000 AND cut the defence budget by £2 billion. The current strength is about 78,000 which is 4K under the last target figure announced, recruiting figures are not keeping up with the number of those leaving the army. Outsourcing recruiting to a civilian company is obviously paying dividends!!  I actually support the Government's efforts to reduce the national debt by judiciously reducing public spending. But leaving the country with a Fred Carno army, a handful of ships for a once magnificent navy and half a dozen fighter aircraft to defend our skies isn't the answer. Not while we spend £12 billion on overseas aid!! The only saving grace for the Tories is the fact a Labour Government would likely go even further, as you say!

November 30, 2017

Joined: May 8, 2014
Posts: 239
Further Defence Cuts Won’t Be

November 30, 2017

I know it is nitpicking but if my readings of various publication are right, we can no longer call it an  ARMY, we have dropped below 82,00o, we now have to call it a defence force, I do stand to be corrected though by more eloquent minds,

December 1, 2017

Joined: May 5, 2014
Posts: 695
Further Defence Cuts Won’t Be

December 1, 2017

Food for thought ; The 2017/8 Defence Budget is £45.4 billion That on Pensions £160.5+ billion That on NHS £147 billion Education £86 billion Other Welfare £114 billion [Total £814 billion]     ; Our welfare bill alone is over twice more than we spend on defence - surely defence of the realm should take a higher priority than it does ? John (JKW)


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