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Sometimes You Just Can’t Win
October 1, 2017

Joined: May 12, 2014
Posts: 683
Sometimes You Just Can’t Win

October 1, 2017

Traffic on the site is sparse at the moment so I thought I might lighten the moment with an account of a recent shopping expedition to our local Morrisons Supermarket. This encounter took place about two weeks ago, just before my operation and whilst I was shopping alone, it is absolutely true and recounted without embellishment save for some of my own, perhaps unique, irony.

I had finished my shop and approached the tills. Coming down one of the aisles I saw a till, still open AND free of anyone save a woman who was just putting her bank card back into her purse after paying. She was engaged in a chat with the checkout woman. I got to the till unloaded my shopping, placed the "next customer" thingy behind my stuff and waited. And waited, and then waited some more as the previous shopper and the till operator continued talking. Another woman came up behind me started to put things on the conveyor belt behind my shopping, saw the two women gassing, said good luck with that, took her stuff and went to another till. I edged my trolley towards the end of the aisle to place it at the back where you put your shopping into it. Previous woman shopper glares at me, "I'm not finished yet" she declares. " Madam you finished your shopping before I arrived at the till, you are now gossiping, if you just move a bit so I can continue to pay for mine you can gossip with the till operator all you want" I replied. Readers, I can only begin to tell you of the invectives I received. Previous woman shopper ended her tirade with the threat of sorting me out if she could be bothered and left. Till operator then turns on me. "You are disgusting, you are the rudest person I have ever met, we weren't gossiping, how dare you accuse me of gossiping, disgusting, you are disgusting, just disgusting". I had a fleeting thought that Heide, so the till woman was named according to her badge, had newly discovered the word "disgusting" and was determined to make best use of her new found literacy. Readers, this was a time for tact, a time for male egos to be cast aside, it called for some humility, it screamed out for me to mumble an apology, take the blame for everything and crawl away. No I didn't, how did you guess. BUT; I stayed circumspect , " you were gossiping madam, I wanted to finish my shopping and was prevented from doing do because you too busy talking to that woman to serve me" was my, as it turned out, heinous crime. Heide,who had, concurrent to her rant at me, started putting my shopping through the scanner, erupted, sobbing like a giant weeping willow, all the time spraying me with a fine but discernible mist of spittle as she once again made ample use of her new found word, perhaps she had gotten a BOGOF deal on the word that very day in a local Word Shop?? Reader, I stupidly interjected to tell Heide she had double scanned an item. Camel and straw that breaks its back springs to mind, now in the comfort of my easy chair at home long after the event. The tirade continues unabated. My shopping is by now at the end of the till so I start packing it, no "do you need any help with your packing" offer today for me!! Heide is still in full rant and sadly reader I am feeding her rage by just saying the word "gossiping" every time she stops to draw breath. But then things take an unexpected turn for the worse, Sharon or Karen, I can't remember which, comes to Heide's aid. Sharon/Karen is a till supervisor. " you ok Heide sweetheart" she asks. "No I'm not" opines Heide "this man is".......I know you know what's coming ...," totally disgusting, he's just so rude I'm really upset". Sharon/Karen turns to me. "She was gossiping and I just asked her to serve me and she's flipped out" I said. Readers that was the wrong, very wrong thing to say. I received a humbling lecture that some shoppers' only social interaction was gained whilst shopping and till operators were trained to recognise this and react accordingly, sometimes that did take a little time but any kind hearted soul, anyone with a modicum of compassion would understand that. It's clearly a lose/lose situation for me. Bizarrely amidst all of this Heide's training kicks in again and she wants to know if I have a Morrisons More card? I don't and I just want to get out of this utterly surreal situation and go home. I pay for my shopping whilst Heide is still sobbing and wailing and Sharon stroke Karen is still lecturing me and, dear Readers, I scurried away. I unashamedly scurried off, tail between my legs, licking my metaphoric wounds and my bruised ego. As I fled I glanced furtively back towards that nemesis of a till and  I briefly saw Heide being led away by Sharon/Karen, seemingly for a well deserved rest and some recuperative TLC. Well I clearly lost that encounter and some, my wife included, might opine, deservedly so. BUT the story has a happy ending. Well for me at any rate. Once home I thought, given Heide's somewhat disturbed sense of being whilst serving me, I wonder if she cheated me? I checked the till receipt. No she hadn't, in fact she had missed off two items totalling £7: 82. All's well that ends well as they say. Moral of the story? A man can never win when a woman plays the female victim card and another wonan backs her up. Onwards and upwards. Evening All!!

October 1, 2017

Joined: May 5, 2014
Posts: 556
Sometimes You Just Can’t Win

October 1, 2017

I know the feeling David, although not suffered quite as much as you had to ! I usually cough loudly when held up at the till like that, & say something like "I've been here since 9am" ( real time 1500hrs !) which usually gets a smile, a laugh even, and the gossiper moves on in embarrassment. I can't see that ploy working at your local Morrison's though, Heidi's a professional gossiper - mind you, she's probably off sick now with stress, having told her doctor of your "disgusting behaviour" !! John (JKW)

October 4, 2017

Joined: May 15, 2014
Posts: 22
Sometimes You Just Can’t Win

October 4, 2017

David, you should have left you shopping on the belt  and gone back to to do it again then go to another till , the gob then has to get somebody to clear the belt and explain why it was left ,a manager is also a help (now and again !)

October 4, 2017

Joined: May 12, 2014
Posts: 683
Sometimes You Just Can’t Win

October 4, 2017

Len, your first suggestion is spot on that's exactly what I should have done. I contemplated the manager bit but came  to the conclusion the two hags would support each other and in this day and age I was unlikely to get far. My Neanderthal side tells me I should have stayed calm (as I did) allowed her to finish her rant, look her in the eye, gently reach across the till ......and grab her by her fat and squawking neck. NO! I'm joking. That would be so very wrong, She was out of reach anyway.

October 5, 2017

Joined: May 8, 2014
Posts: 199
Sometimes You Just Can’t Win

October 5, 2017

David there is a lot to be said for the head camera, or the police camera worn on their shoulder both of which record the conversations and date and time group it, however we then start to fall into the realms of one Victor Meldrew, I fully sympathise with you and find that I too can be described as a cantankerous old bastard in situations like you describe. I have also done what Len  advocated. My versions  of Johns is twofold. 1) I was 18 years old when I arrived at your cashier station. 2) this on a week where I have not shaved,  I was clean shaven when I arrived at your till. you either get a smile and sometimes an apology, or that haughty how dare you interrupt my gossip time look with daggers. keep smiling.


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