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Stag Party
April 18, 2017

Joined: May 12, 2014
Posts: 683
Stag Party

April 18, 2017

This Saturday my eldest granddaughter's fiancée is holding his stag party to which I am invited. If I am absent from these pages for a while afterwards do not be surprised. The day kicks off in Nottingham at 'Go Ape' an adults' rope course of some notoriety I am led to believe. That is followed by a Segway session. So, this almost 70 year old is expected to cavort amongst the Sherwood Forest tree tops , hanging from ropes, reliving JLR days of postmans walks, death slides and regains and then risking life and limb on one of those infernal balancing machines that have a mind of their own. The really dangerous thing about it all is how insanely excited I am about it!! I just hope I get to enjoy the beer and food afterwards. So, wish me luck, I might need it. As an aside I will be the oldest person there by about 25 years!! I know, I know, I should be growing old gracefully but faint heart never overcame male ego!!

April 19, 2017

Joined: May 8, 2014
Posts: 1201
Stag Party

April 19, 2017

David don't forget your "long bow" and definitely wear "green "

April 19, 2017

Joined: May 14, 2014
Posts: 977
Stag Party

April 19, 2017

Bob, from what you are describing, may I suggest that you ration your intake of alcofrolic drinks until at least you have abstained from alcofrol for at least 50 seconds once you arrive? A great choice of venue. Enjoy it all matey, and my regards to your grandaughter and her husband to be. Long may they both flourish!!  . ( ps, have a couple of pints for me in Nottingham.)  Tom

April 19, 2017

Joined: May 12, 2014
Posts: 683
Stag Party

April 19, 2017

Thanks Tom, I certainly will have a pint or two for you, if I am still able to afterwards!!

April 19, 2017

Joined: May 5, 2014
Posts: 555
Stag Party

April 19, 2017

David, By all means "Go Ape" for a few hours of foolish ( & dangerous !) frippery, & by all means imbibe afterwards, but do NOT think that is any sort of excuse to be absent from this Forum !! Take care, particularly on the Segway, I'd hate to see any mishap of yours make up the Top Story on the News channels ! John (JKW)

April 20, 2017

Joined: April 23, 2014
Posts: 141
Stag Party

April 20, 2017

Take it easy David!

TWO DIFFERENT DOCTORS! - FUNNY! But so true

Boy, if this doesn't hit the nail on the head, I don't know what does! Two patients limp into two different medical clinics with the same complaint? Both have trouble walking and appear to require a hip replacement. The FIRST patient is examined within the hour, is x-rayed the same day and has a time booked for surgery the following week. The SECOND sees his family doctor after waiting 3 weeks for an appointment, then waits 8 weeks to see a specialist, then gets an x-ray, which isn't reviewed for another week and finally has his surgery scheduled for 6 months from then Why the different treatment for the two patients?

 

The FIRST is a Golden Retriever. The SECOND is a Senior Citizen. Next time take me to a vet!

 

 

 

  

 

April 20, 2017

Joined: May 14, 2014
Posts: 977
Stag Party

April 20, 2017

Freddie, Just make sure he does not put you down....... said tongue in cheek, Tom

April 20, 2017

Joined: May 12, 2014
Posts: 683
Stag Party

April 20, 2017

Very true Freddy. But for all that! my wife had day surgery this morning. Single room, colour television, met at the entrance to the ward, admitted, checked in, given dressing gown, slippers etc etc, room was immaculate, everything totally sterile and clean. Anaesthetist came to her room had a nice chat, the surgeon came in and spent half an hour with her. Operation over, post recovery she comes back to her room, surgeon comes back to tell her everything went fine, gave her list of post operative instructions, made an Out Patient appointment to review her in 5 weeks, shook our hands. Biscuits and coffee brought, discharge took one hour instread of the usual half a day wait for the pharmacy to deliver post op medications. I really couldn't fault a thing. Well maybe one thing. The bill. I probably forgot to mention she was a private patient in a private hospital!!!  

April 22, 2017

Joined: May 12, 2014
Posts: 683
Stag Party

April 22, 2017

So, I survived the first phase of the stag do. The "Go Ape" rope course wasn't a total success to be truthful. I was surprised at the height and extent of the course, highest point on it is 48 meters. It is really professionally rigged, excellent safety harnesses and instructors the whole works.  Anyway it all started off good until the first zip line with a drop into a cargo net. The instructor told us on the initial briefing not to be fooled into grabbing the cargo net on first impact but to let the zip take you back a bit and then forward again before grasping it. Idiot me completely forgot that in the heat of the moment took off dropped about 8 feet as the zip took hold, crashed into the cargo net, hooked my foot through it to stop myself and nearly dislocated my hip as the zip whipped back. !!! Hanging in the cargo net I can't put any weight on my right hip, they can't lower me down until two features further. I get to the next  platform do a postman's walk, 40 feet up and about 25 meters across,  then a zip wire to the ground and hobble off to lick my wounds. Moral of the story. A 25 year old mindset coupled to a 70 year old body is not an ideal combination. Now, I had even taken the trouble to complete an 8 mile hike last evening to limber up!!  But, the now the really good bit. Two paracetamol and two ibuprofen, an hours rest and we started the Segways. I had real reservations about them, I have seen all the TV outtakes of people,e coming a cropper on them and I normally have the balance of an unset jelly. But I was the unashamed star of the group, I took to it like a fish to water. I loved it. Got to grips with the whole balancing, toes and heel,lean forward, lean back thing, first time. We went through the woods, cross country, winding narrow trails and it was exhilarating. I would love to buy one, the 1 hour 20 minute experience on the Segways costs £48 which sounds a bit expensive but it was so worthwhile. So that's the story so far, I got back in one piece and ready for the net phase.      

April 23, 2017

Joined: May 12, 2014
Posts: 683
Stag Party

April 23, 2017

We reconvened at a pub/restaurant at 7pm. Had a really good night, great food, lots of Grouse, first real session I have had for some considerable time. 11pm the best man asks me what his resting pulse should be. The average is between 70-90 bpm says I. He's 25 slim, fit and otherwise healthy. He has used the app on his phone to take his pulse reading and it shows 221!! That's rubbish I say and do it on myself. Mine reads 61! He tries again 222! I feel his heart, its racing like a machine gun. The jokes were flowing, make your will now, have you done the speech for the wedding in case we need a stand in, all the banter. But he is quite pale and not happy at all, pretending to join in the fun but obviously worried. I explain he is probably tachycardiac, he had been drinking loads of vodka and coke, then RedBull and vodka, he ate the biggest, tallest tower burger I gave ever seen, had been supping energy drinks during the day and I told him it was from all the sugar, caffeine, alcohol, red meat and now stress. Anyway, I tell him to go home, lie down drink lots of water to rehydrate himself and if his heart is still racing after a couple of hours to go to A&E. His partner collects him from the pub and we find out this morning he went straight to A&E and was admitted to Coronary Care.Turns out he was.......wait for it Tachycardiac, too much ......yes sugar, alcohol and caffeine. Put on a drip, admitted for the night and absolutely fine 12 hours later. Rest and rehydration just as I told him, BUT it likely cost the NHS £1k just to treat him! He waited nearly 3 hours to be seen in A&E because...........there were so many other alcohol related cases waiting to be seen!! And people wonder why the NHS is under do much pressure!! Still, it was a good night. Not so much for him but we enjoyed it!  


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