Back to all topics

BMW : Brand Proud
February 22, 2017

Joined: May 12, 2014
Posts: 964
BMW : Brand Proud

February 22, 2017

Brr, Brr, 'hello BMW Marshalls how may I help you'

' I'd like to book my car in for a service please'

'Fine bear with me I'll put you through to servicing'

'Good morning BMW Marshalls  how can I help you'

'I like to book my car in for a service please'

'Certainly do you have the registration number please'

'I do it's FY15&&&'

'Thank you, just checking the computer, oh what mileage is it'


'Are you sure that's right, it seems very low'

'Yes I'm absolutely sure, we have a second car, the mileage is correct'

'Ah, says here I can't book it in yet, has your service reminder light come on'

'No but you have sent me two emails reminding me the service is due'

'Well I'm sorry but it isn't due until 15000 miles and as your service reminder warning light hasn't activated I can't book  it in, so it says here'

'Madam the servicing schedule for my car is 15000 miles or 2 years whichever comes  soonest, not only that you have sent me two reminders to contact you to book it in, AND if I waited another 9000 miles before having it serviced my guarantee would be void,  this is its first 2 year service'

'Oh well I don't know what to say really I can only go on what the screen is telling me'

' Madam you are an extremely nice lady and I do not wish to appear to be in the slightest sexist but tell me honestly, would I be being really unkind to you by suggesting you know absolutely nothing about car servicing'

'Not really I am at a central answering point, shall I put you through to the actual service desk, I am so sorry'

'I thought I was talking to the...........never mind that  would be really kind, I asked specifically for the servicing dept'

'Sorry about that I'll put you through now we are a bit upside down at present'

3 minutes and 21 seconds later,,

'Hello service desk here Nathan speaking,  how can I help you'

'Well Nathan for a start you can get your freaking house in order, get someone to answer the phone who has even the remotest idea about cars and servicing, make sure customers are directed to the right dept, dont ask nice ladies who don't know one end of a car from the other to field servicing calls, don't leave me waiting for over three minutes to be connected, and generally stop peeing me about unless you want me to call BMW and tell them of my experience today'

'Is that Mr Fullard'



February 22, 2017

Joined: May 5, 2014
Posts: 818
BMW : Brand Proud

February 22, 2017

Excellent David, you're obviously well known at BMW Marshall's ! Reminds me of a neighbour we once had, who remonstrated on a regular basis with M&S, usually to do with hydrogenated fats they used to include in their foods - she used to commence her complaining phone calls with "It's me again" !!! John (JKW)  

February 22, 2017

Joined: May 8, 2014
Posts: 1417
BMW : Brand Proud

February 22, 2017

Can I say David mmmmm not really as we both have someone in our families who is of the Aryan race,oh what the hell ,even my son has has a "beemer" yep and has lived there most of his life ,"Typical German efficiency " if the computer doesn't say it ,you don't get it even if you're paying.Thank big "G" for Korean cars

1 Next

Total members: 406
Total posts: 5107