Age Shall Not Weary Us
Quote from DavidFullard on April 5, 2024, 10:18 pmWe ( those of my era) are now no longer ‘getting’ old we ARE old. No matter if fit and healthy [or not] from the mid 70s onward is old. Old age has a few advantages and some distinct disadvantages. I have thought about MY take on being old and how it has affected my life. In doing so I am not concentrating on my cancer even though it has had such a huge impact on my life. I will however touch on the knock on effects of it.
That great destroyer of human hair follicles (chemotherapy) means I have no head hair left save a ‘monks’ tonsure’ that I keep very short. By way of compensation old age and nature actively promote hair that has a prodigious growth rate in and on my ears and in my nostrils. I am unable to shave following chemotherapy and my facial hair needs constant attention. In winter I resemble Uncle Albert from Only Fools and Horses.
My morning shower ritual is sacrosanct. I feel the cold. I ensure the heating is on high in the winter, I run the sink tap to make sure the hot water is pumped upstairs by the combi boiler before I enter the shower cubicle, I place a towel on the radiator and ensure the non slip shower mat is in place. A neck of femur fracture at 76 could be disastrous! Getting dressed! I have to stand with my back against a wardrobe in my dressing room when putting on my socks, boxers and trousers otherwise I simply ‘tip’ over onto the floor…hip fracture risk again! . I secretly practice my name in the bathroom whilst cleaning my teeth so I remember who I am for the rest of the day.(that last bit is a joke……for now at least).
Descending the stairs for the first time in the day requires one hand on the stair rail and a slow descent to ease my creaky joints into motion. Strangely my joints thereafter are much better. Tablets. I take 5 in the morning, 9 at bedtime. The usual age related stuff, blood pressure, cholesterol, prostate, proton pump inhibitors, gabapentin for neuropathy, etc plus penicillin for life ( no spleen). In addition I have to take 5 capsules with every meal and 3 with snacks because the remains of my pancreas no longer function. I am never far away from a supply of glucose caplets or insulin injections for my Type 1 diabetes.
The interesting thing about illness in old age ( well for me anyway) is its sudden onset and intensity, One day out jogging and cycling the next day ( well 3 days later) being diagnosed with a life changing disease. I know at least half a dozen others in my wider social circle who experienced similar. One, a particularly fit 71 year old, was hit with cancer, blocked arteries requiring stents and a double hip replacement within a year! Several folk who sympathised with my cancer diagnosis, surgery and chemotherapy, while robustly fit at the time, are now fighting cancer themselves. Once we hit 70 life seems to take on a whole different outlook for many of us health wise. With me it was as if mother nature pressed a button in my being and switched me off. Fortunately she switched me back on a couple of years later.Long journeys now require pee stop planning in our house. 3 years ago I self diagnosed benign prostate hyperplasia [BPH] and described my symptoms in enough detail to forego the ignominy of my female GP carrying out a rectal digital examination. The resultant Tamsulosin prescription has eased my previous prostate induced urinary problems considerably. A later examination of my prostate by a male hospital registrar confirmed an enlarged but smooth prostate gland. Some of you may think this is a tad oversharing but we should not shy away from discussing these issues publicly! As an aside a high percentage of men diagnosed with prostate cancer had no or very few warning symptoms. Similarly many men with age related urinary issues are unaware there are very good medicines that can help without surgery or unpleasant tests.
Much of what we talk about and deal with in old age is health related. Either our partner’s or our own health is a major factor in old ( older) age. The NHS generally no longer uses the term ‘geriatrics’ to describe older patients. Sadly I noticed both professionally and now privately the tendency of too many clinical staff to treat our age group as half wits or children, Old people are often not listened to, they can be patronised excruciatingly or their illnesses and pains are dismissed as ‘age related.’ I recall sitting in a hospital admissions ward with a family member in the bed next to an aged gentleman some years ago. Whilst waiting for pre admission tests etc we engaged in conversation with him. He was 87 I recall and named Sydney. He was articulate and intelligent, he was a retired headmaster. A nurse came and pulled the privacy curtains around his bed and told him she needed a urine sample. We heard every word clearly! He struggled to produce the requested sample. The nurse started to coax him, ‘come on Sydney have a little tinkle for me , just relax we only need a little bit, I’ll hold it you just tinkle dear’ I’ve never forgotten that unimaginably patronising event. The poor man was embarrassed beyond words. Next day I called the hospital CE ( I was a NHS PCT CE at the time) and told him of the incident. He seemed (sadly) ambivalent about it, it was nothing unusual. Recently an 82 year old wider family member was quite literally allowed to fade away and die for want of a heart valve replacement. His food went uneaten for days and he lay in a hospital bed in an infection induced stupor. What should have been a very treatable chest infection, combined with an untreated heart valve defect and lack of food resulted in an unnecessary death. Almost every clinician his wife spoke to said words to the effect ‘ he WAS quite old’. In today’s NHS just being old can be every bit as dangerous as a major disease if we allow it to be.
On an entirely different but related subject I keep reading of huge increases in car insurance premiums particularly for older folk. A friend has had his premium doubled. He has a 60% NCD and a modest car in which he drives no more than 6k miles pa. The premiums on my new car are quite low, I am braced for a shock in September when renewal looms. Some of our younger generation may be envious of our ‘triple lock’ annual state pension increase. They have missed the clever Governmental ruse whereby the stagnated 5 year tax threshold will drag roughly 2 million OAPs into paying tax on their pensions for the first time before its end.
The foregoing paragraphs may seem doom laden but there certainly Is life in old age and much to enjoy. I refuse to allow age or illness to dictate my life. I HAVE learned to live with the health impacts that old age can bring, for instance creaky knees dictate long dog walks and bike riding are my main exercise platforms rather than my erstwhile jogging. I am banned from climbing ladders due to neuropathy and poor balance Fortunately V is both much lighter than me and has a good head for heights so she climbs the ladder I keep it steady.
Another thing many older folk don’t want to discuss is death. It is a morbid topic (quite literally) and a guaranteed fun buster. My cancer experience, the initial potential prognosis and huge sense of vulnerability of it all changed my whole outlook on death. It is fairly terminal but also nothing to fear. We are all going to die. Some of us will die slowly and have time to sort our affairs, others will die quite quickly and unexpectedly and be unable to do so. The immediate aftermath of a partner’s death is difficult enough without the added burden of arranging cremations/ funerals, sorting bank accounts etc. I have now paid for and arranged our cremations through a reputable company which keeps the funds in a trust account and came out in the top 3 of a recent Ombudsman and Government regulatory review and legislative process. Neither V or I want our grandchildren and great grandchildren to deal with funerals. Just a personal perspective! An added incentive is the huge cost saving over a traditional funeral.. I have made sure our bank accounts are all in joint names, I have also ‘sussed’ out the very helpful ‘Tell Us Once’ telephone service. I never realised how many online accounts I had, all password protected. Energy, BT, mobiles, life insurances, bank accounts, savings/investments, car/ house/pet insurance Sky, AA, the list is endless. I am in charge of our finances, V likes it that way…she spends the money I try and make sure there is enough for her to do so. I have listed the passwords in a document [kept in a safe place] in case I kick the bucket first…as is highly likely.
But for all the above I remain totally positive and I am hugely enjoying my life. Having been given a ‘get out of jail free card’ it would be churlish of me not to be.
So that’s a brief personal glimpse of my thoughts and experience on/of getting old. One of my favourite songs is ‘Here Comes The Sun’ and that just about sums up my take on life these days.There HAS to be other oldies out there with an opinion or experience on this matter to share with the group.
We ( those of my era) are now no longer ‘getting’ old we ARE old. No matter if fit and healthy [or not] from the mid 70s onward is old. Old age has a few advantages and some distinct disadvantages. I have thought about MY take on being old and how it has affected my life. In doing so I am not concentrating on my cancer even though it has had such a huge impact on my life. I will however touch on the knock on effects of it.
That great destroyer of human hair follicles (chemotherapy) means I have no head hair left save a ‘monks’ tonsure’ that I keep very short. By way of compensation old age and nature actively promote hair that has a prodigious growth rate in and on my ears and in my nostrils. I am unable to shave following chemotherapy and my facial hair needs constant attention. In winter I resemble Uncle Albert from Only Fools and Horses.
My morning shower ritual is sacrosanct. I feel the cold. I ensure the heating is on high in the winter, I run the sink tap to make sure the hot water is pumped upstairs by the combi boiler before I enter the shower cubicle, I place a towel on the radiator and ensure the non slip shower mat is in place. A neck of femur fracture at 76 could be disastrous! Getting dressed! I have to stand with my back against a wardrobe in my dressing room when putting on my socks, boxers and trousers otherwise I simply ‘tip’ over onto the floor…hip fracture risk again! . I secretly practice my name in the bathroom whilst cleaning my teeth so I remember who I am for the rest of the day.(that last bit is a joke……for now at least).
Descending the stairs for the first time in the day requires one hand on the stair rail and a slow descent to ease my creaky joints into motion. Strangely my joints thereafter are much better. Tablets. I take 5 in the morning, 9 at bedtime. The usual age related stuff, blood pressure, cholesterol, prostate, proton pump inhibitors, gabapentin for neuropathy, etc plus penicillin for life ( no spleen). In addition I have to take 5 capsules with every meal and 3 with snacks because the remains of my pancreas no longer function. I am never far away from a supply of glucose caplets or insulin injections for my Type 1 diabetes.
The interesting thing about illness in old age ( well for me anyway) is its sudden onset and intensity, One day out jogging and cycling the next day ( well 3 days later) being diagnosed with a life changing disease. I know at least half a dozen others in my wider social circle who experienced similar. One, a particularly fit 71 year old, was hit with cancer, blocked arteries requiring stents and a double hip replacement within a year! Several folk who sympathised with my cancer diagnosis, surgery and chemotherapy, while robustly fit at the time, are now fighting cancer themselves. Once we hit 70 life seems to take on a whole different outlook for many of us health wise. With me it was as if mother nature pressed a button in my being and switched me off. Fortunately she switched me back on a couple of years later.
Long journeys now require pee stop planning in our house. 3 years ago I self diagnosed benign prostate hyperplasia [BPH] and described my symptoms in enough detail to forego the ignominy of my female GP carrying out a rectal digital examination. The resultant Tamsulosin prescription has eased my previous prostate induced urinary problems considerably. A later examination of my prostate by a male hospital registrar confirmed an enlarged but smooth prostate gland. Some of you may think this is a tad oversharing but we should not shy away from discussing these issues publicly! As an aside a high percentage of men diagnosed with prostate cancer had no or very few warning symptoms. Similarly many men with age related urinary issues are unaware there are very good medicines that can help without surgery or unpleasant tests.
Much of what we talk about and deal with in old age is health related. Either our partner’s or our own health is a major factor in old ( older) age. The NHS generally no longer uses the term ‘geriatrics’ to describe older patients. Sadly I noticed both professionally and now privately the tendency of too many clinical staff to treat our age group as half wits or children, Old people are often not listened to, they can be patronised excruciatingly or their illnesses and pains are dismissed as ‘age related.’ I recall sitting in a hospital admissions ward with a family member in the bed next to an aged gentleman some years ago. Whilst waiting for pre admission tests etc we engaged in conversation with him. He was 87 I recall and named Sydney. He was articulate and intelligent, he was a retired headmaster. A nurse came and pulled the privacy curtains around his bed and told him she needed a urine sample. We heard every word clearly! He struggled to produce the requested sample. The nurse started to coax him, ‘come on Sydney have a little tinkle for me , just relax we only need a little bit, I’ll hold it you just tinkle dear’ I’ve never forgotten that unimaginably patronising event. The poor man was embarrassed beyond words. Next day I called the hospital CE ( I was a NHS PCT CE at the time) and told him of the incident. He seemed (sadly) ambivalent about it, it was nothing unusual. Recently an 82 year old wider family member was quite literally allowed to fade away and die for want of a heart valve replacement. His food went uneaten for days and he lay in a hospital bed in an infection induced stupor. What should have been a very treatable chest infection, combined with an untreated heart valve defect and lack of food resulted in an unnecessary death. Almost every clinician his wife spoke to said words to the effect ‘ he WAS quite old’. In today’s NHS just being old can be every bit as dangerous as a major disease if we allow it to be.
On an entirely different but related subject I keep reading of huge increases in car insurance premiums particularly for older folk. A friend has had his premium doubled. He has a 60% NCD and a modest car in which he drives no more than 6k miles pa. The premiums on my new car are quite low, I am braced for a shock in September when renewal looms. Some of our younger generation may be envious of our ‘triple lock’ annual state pension increase. They have missed the clever Governmental ruse whereby the stagnated 5 year tax threshold will drag roughly 2 million OAPs into paying tax on their pensions for the first time before its end.
The foregoing paragraphs may seem doom laden but there certainly Is life in old age and much to enjoy. I refuse to allow age or illness to dictate my life. I HAVE learned to live with the health impacts that old age can bring, for instance creaky knees dictate long dog walks and bike riding are my main exercise platforms rather than my erstwhile jogging. I am banned from climbing ladders due to neuropathy and poor balance Fortunately V is both much lighter than me and has a good head for heights so she climbs the ladder I keep it steady.
Another thing many older folk don’t want to discuss is death. It is a morbid topic (quite literally) and a guaranteed fun buster. My cancer experience, the initial potential prognosis and huge sense of vulnerability of it all changed my whole outlook on death. It is fairly terminal but also nothing to fear. We are all going to die. Some of us will die slowly and have time to sort our affairs, others will die quite quickly and unexpectedly and be unable to do so. The immediate aftermath of a partner’s death is difficult enough without the added burden of arranging cremations/ funerals, sorting bank accounts etc. I have now paid for and arranged our cremations through a reputable company which keeps the funds in a trust account and came out in the top 3 of a recent Ombudsman and Government regulatory review and legislative process. Neither V or I want our grandchildren and great grandchildren to deal with funerals. Just a personal perspective! An added incentive is the huge cost saving over a traditional funeral.. I have made sure our bank accounts are all in joint names, I have also ‘sussed’ out the very helpful ‘Tell Us Once’ telephone service. I never realised how many online accounts I had, all password protected. Energy, BT, mobiles, life insurances, bank accounts, savings/investments, car/ house/pet insurance Sky, AA, the list is endless. I am in charge of our finances, V likes it that way…she spends the money I try and make sure there is enough for her to do so. I have listed the passwords in a document [kept in a safe place] in case I kick the bucket first…as is highly likely.
But for all the above I remain totally positive and I am hugely enjoying my life. Having been given a ‘get out of jail free card’ it would be churlish of me not to be.
So that’s a brief personal glimpse of my thoughts and experience on/of getting old. One of my favourite songs is ‘Here Comes The Sun’ and that just about sums up my take on life these days.
There HAS to be other oldies out there with an opinion or experience on this matter to share with the group.